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Written by Editor
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I guess there is not much difference in the way I grew up from a lot of
people, my parents are still married, they did not drink much, my dad
even pastored a church as a layman for a number of years when I was
young. We were just the pretty much average middle-class Southern
family.
At the age of 14, I was "saved" and baptized in the local Baptist
church, and God called me into the ministry on June 22, 1985, at the
age of 15. It was along time before anything went right after
that.
To this day, I really don't know how it happened, but I fell away from the church, and began to just do my
own thing. One afternoon, a friend and I "borrowed" some beer
from his dad, and hauled it into the woods to drink. After
drinking it down, I remember saying, "Where have you been all of my
LIFE?"
This was it, I had found that something that had been missing my whole
life. I began to drink heavily on a daily basis. I went to
college, did well, and dropped out. I joined the Army, went to
the first Gulf war, and came home drinking worse than ever. I
received opportunity after opportunity, but because of my
drinking, and attitude, I blew every last one.
At 22, I married for the first time. The marriage was destined
for failure, because the first time I really saw her when I was sober
was the moment she walked down the aisle. She had a terrible
time, it was not so bad for me, because I never drew a sober
breath. Shortly after getting married, we moved to southern
Louisiana so that I could attend school. While at LSU, I got a
job bouncing at a bar, it was perfect; free booze, and access to
women. I met a girl, she got pregnant, and so my first wife left
and I married the mother of my daughter. We later had another
child, but throughout, the drinking only got worse. She went to law
school, and shortly before graduating, she loaded up the kids and
left. This was the first time in my life that alcohol failed
me. No matter how much I drank, alcohol could not stop the pain.
My wife told me that the reason she left, was because of my drinking. She said I loved the alcohol more
than I loved her. This was the first "wake-up call" I ever had. Like so many others, I decided to quit, and
the only way I knew to do that, was to go to AA. Alcoholics Anonymous was amazing. For the first time
I came to realize I was not alone, and although I was insane, there
were others in the same shape. I began to seek God for the first
time in my life, and He broke the cycle of compulsion. The
problem was, the insanity did not start until I quit drinking.
Actually, it had always been there, but without the alcohol to appease
it, my mind, will and emotions ran to extremes.
I wish I could say that this was the end, but it was four years of
trying to quit and failing before I enjoyed any real relief. Most
of the time, I put off drinking for as long as I could, but in the end,
I would give in, because it was the only thing that could ease the
pain. I went to long term treatments, and was diagnosed as a
"chronic alcoholic with a slim chance for recovery," as well as being
bi-polar. Most of these years were spent homeless. I
started and stopped taking all manners of psychotropic drugs. I
was institutionalized multiple times. I lost contact with my
children. I lost contact with myself. I got so sick
physically and emotionally, my parents took me in, and I laid in bed
for nearly a year. I began one
last binge that ended up saving my life.
My parents reached the end of their rope, and gave me an ultimatum,
quit or get out. So I checked myself into a treatment center in
my hometown. There, they told me that the only way I was ever
going to get better was to "get" Jesus. I had no intentions of
"getting" Jesus. I stayed there for a while and got through the
detox process and for the first time, things began to clear up. I
listened to the sermons and actually began to read the Bible. We
attended the Vineyard here in Jackson, and one Sunday, the pastor spoke
on the parable of the Prodigal Son, then it was taught in another
group, finally I read it for myself. My views of God had really gotten
skewed over the last twenty years, but the welcoming father was a view
of God I could understand. So on June 24, 2004, it all came to a
head, I finally reached the end.
Things had gotten bad. It had gotten to the point where I no
longer cared, drink or die, it no longer mattered to me which, because
those were the only two ways I was aware of I could find relief.
But God had something else in mind. That night, for the first
time in years, I prayed. I just prayed what was going on, I just
told God the truth, and something amazing happened. The bands
that constricted my chest broke, for the first time, I laughed.
I laughed at everything for the next month or so. The next
morning, the world looked so much brighter. It was if I had been
given new eyes. My world of pain had been transformed into a
universe of joy and beauty. The Kingdom had intervened, I had
experienced breakthrough. It did not stop there, either.
God has restored everything I ever lost, with interest. His grace
is without measure.
One of the first things I realized was the call He had placed on my
life was real. It had been exactly 19 years and two days since
the Lord called me to work for Him. It was as though the day in
the middle was nearly a lifetime to me, but only a single day to Him.
My life began to change immediately.
Everything has just fallen into place, but at warp speed. For
several months, He and I developed our relationship. Then, I
enrolled in the Vineyard Bible Institute, and began to develop
relationships with the people within the church. For the first
time in years, I had real friends. I began to understand love
(still learning!) He allowed me to be a daddy for my kids
again. Then a few weeks ago, I married an amazing lady who has
been in the Vineyard for the last 8 years. I have been given the
responsibility to lead a Small Group of 20-Somethings, and I am able to
use the experience I gained navigating the Grand Canyon of sin in my
life to help those in trouble. God has blessed me with owning a home
and a good job that allows me plenty of time to work with others.
For the first time in my life, I am a citizen, a citizen of
God's Kingdom.
Because of the transformation that God is making in my life, my parents
who had been out of the church for the past twenty years, began
attending the Vineyard and have since surrendered to the leading of the
Holy Spirit.
God is AWESOME! There are a million and one details that I have
left out, but I really wanted to let people know that freedom from
addiction is not only possible, but it is one of the most profound
examples of the advancement of the Kingdom.
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