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FIRST RESPONSE: Ted Haggard Outed |
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Contributed by Don Williams
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First Response
November 2006
Ted Haggard Outed
By Don Williams
The evangelical world was shaken and the liberal press gleeful with the revelation that the President of the National Association of Evangelicals and Pastor of the 14,000 member New Life Church in Colorado Springs has been involved in a three year relationship with Mike Jones, a Denver homosexual prostitute, who supplied him with sexual favors and amphetamines. The exact details remain vague. When Jones revealed this on a local TV newscast, Haggard waffled. He first denied any sexual relationship and claimed that he threw the drugs away. But Jones seemed credible and on Sunday Haggard resigned as Senior Pastor of the church he founded in 1985 and gave up his presidency of NAE.
Haggard's exposure couldn't have come at a more difficult time for conservatives, just days before the national congressional election. The man, who along with Dr. James Dobson, was called the most powerful evangelical in America by Harper's Magazine (Feb. 2006) and was a strong opponent of gay marriage in Colorado, is now discredited. In his letter of resignation to the church (read Sunday, Nov. 5), Haggard admitted to pride, "deceiving those I love the most because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them." He also admitted, "I am guilty of sexual immorality," adding, "I am...a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for my adult life." Haggard claimed to have periods of freedom but then, from time to time, "the dirt I thought was gone would resurface and I would find myself thinking thoughts and experiencing desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach." While Haggard apparently tried to win his battle, he was unsuccessful: "Through the years, I've sought assistance in a variety of ways, with none of them proving effective." He added, "...the darkness increased and finally dominated me."
After reviewing the evidence, New Life's Overseer Board concluded that Haggard "has committed sexually immoral conduct." The new interim Senior Pastor, Ross Parsely, told the congregation Sunday that Haggard's departure "cleared out a cloud that, in retrospect, was hanging over the church because of the pastor's hidden secrets." Haggard will now be accountable to three major evangelical leaders, Dr. James Dobsen, Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett who will supervise "a program with the goal of healing and restoration." What are we to make of this?
First, of course, Jesus calls us to confront our own sin. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." (John 8:7) In the context of Haggard's demise, we must specifically confront our own addictions. As Gerald May says, "We are all addicts in every sense of the word." ( in Addiction and Grace) But the first symptom of addiction is denial. Clearly Haggard was in denial over his sexual addiction and confused sexual orientation. The fact that he was (and is) a sexual addict appears clearly in his statement, "the darkness increased and finally dominated me." Paul puts it this way, "Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more." (Ephesians 4:19) Every addiction is progressive. The brain easily reaches tolerance to alcohol, or gambling or sexual images and activities. It demands more of the same for the same effect. This is why our addictions will finally dominate us and even kill us.
Too often we think of an addict (say sexual addict) as having an affair, going to a massage parlor or compulsively finding pornography on the Internet, even daily. But part of the diagnosis of addiction is the "Addiction Cycle." It starts with the build-up phase. This can include a sense of loneliness or emptiness and growing lust which becomes mood-altering, lifting depression or fear through chemical changes in the brain. Then there is the "compensatory phase," the acting out. (In Haggard's pattern, going to Denver monthly to stay in a hotel and hook up with his male prostitute). This is followed by the "relief phase." In Haggard's case, sexual release. But then the addict goes back into the build-up phase, now with more guilt and shame over his or her behavior. The build up may go on for several weeks before the acting out takes place again. Clearly this was Haggard's mode - and through it he became fully addicted - he simply could not stop the behavior or short-circuit the fantasies. As he admits, "There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for my adult life."
Whatever assistance Haggard sought over the years, as he says, proved ineffective. He lived the tormented life of Romans 7: "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:18b-19) We can imagine that spiritual disciplines or cryig out to God in repentance didn't work because, as they say in A.A., "You are only as sick as your secrets." What Haggard was unwilling to experience was the public exposure of his sexual struggleand the consequent accountability to his wife and close brothers. He claims that he kept his sexual activities secret from his family, "those I love the most because I didn't want to hurt or disappoint them." This is Haggard's addiction speaking. He claims that he refused transparency for their sakes, not for his own exposure and healing. But such exposure, from a shame-based life, would be a death experience, and Haggard had to cling to the false part of his life (which was serving him) or die to it. No one freely chooses death. Now, by the revelations of this gay prostitute, he is forced to die to his shadow life, his ministry, his reputation, and his own self-image. We hope, in the long run, that he won't also have to die to his marriage. We do know that in Jesus, there is life after death, the cross is followed by the empty tomb. We pray for new life for Haggard and for all who suffer from the denial over their own addictions that, spiritually speaking, are idols in their lives.
What can the church learn from this tragedy? First, leadership in the "Star -system" is lonely and costly. Therefore, leaders must be held to accountability in community, and this includes sexual accountability. This will only happen when all the exposure of our sin is on the table and we experience being fully loved and fully forgiven with grace plus nothing. Paul always ministered transparently in a team and so must we.
Second, leaders must rarely travel alone without wife or close brothers or (in the case of women) sisters. Again, to quote A.A. "When you isolate, you're sick." Isolation, which Haggard programed into his life by going to Denver "to write," opend the door for the enemy.
This leads us to the third point, Satan is a real antagonist and we are locked in a spiritual battle. Much of the "good time" preaching of popular evangelicalism down-plays this. Although Haggard believed in spritual warfare (at least abstractly), he cherished his media fame and taught his congregation to handle reporters, "Don't talk about the Devil, demons, voices speaking to you...." In other words, avoid revealing the spiritual battle raging. Now, for New Life Church, this season has clearly passed.
Fourth, be honest (without being salacious) about your own struggles and sins. If you are in leadership transparency and resulting behavior will protect you and keep you on the road to holiness (wholeness).
Fifth, seek active healing prayer for past pain. Most people attrracted to same-sex relationships have been sexually abused as children but often are in denial over this (many suffer from blocked memories) or have concluded that they are gay because someone was sexually attracted to them as children. Others are looking for the father they never had, seeking to import lost masculinity into themselves sexually. We not only need counseling (which may be helpful), we need the power of the Spirit coming in healing prayer, not simply intercession, but prayer for effect - in the name and authority of Jesus, his kingdom come, and the power of the Spirit and we need a trustworthy community to go through life with. Let us hope and pray for Haggard's healing and a new season for evangelicalism - out of denial and into the fulness of God's healing and grace. Our churches must become beacons of hope for the broken and addicted because we ourselves are the broken and addicted.
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First Response 
